| This is the worst experience of my life... |
[07 Jul 2007|12:37pm] |
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mood |
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 sore |
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seriously I have never felt so much pain in my...ya know....ever, I hope I don't ever have another copo again! at least I have good ppl around me trying to distract me from the misery.
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| my cats fucking dying |
[15 Dec 2005|11:51am] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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so dad calls me at like 830 this morning to tell me that he had to bring tasha out back b/c she could barley move and shes been being really calm latley but was upstairs the other day so obviously moving alright, and sunddeny today she went to shit and i went out there and had her on my lap and it was like holding a stuffed animal who took a shallow breath once and a while, and usually if you take a hair she sheads off when u pet her and tickle her ear with it her ear will twitch and it didnt, and she just stared off straight into nothing. and so i went inside and took a shower and then went back out to sit with her and i had us on a blanket and she did this really freaky meow so i took her off my lap and layed her down flat and she started twitching her head like she was the exersicst and then meowed like she was in pain. so i called my dad to tell him to get the fucking vet over here to put her down b/c shes hurting and hes on lunch and not answering the cell, so shes lying still and i can see her still barley breathing so im like ok i'll wait, but then she wet the blanket and started twiching with all her limbs like she was trying to swim or something and it scared the shit outta me so i called mom and my aunt and of course everyones at work and i dont wanna call the wrong vet or something and have dad scream at me later and i just dont know what to do right now. i wish hed hurry the fuck up and get back from lunch, im shaking and i almost threw up out back when she was spazing out, i dont know why i wanted to vomit i just did. first arachne got hit by a car, then desire had to be put down cuz she was sick and kinda old, and tasha is 17 so shes dying now, all we have left is sassy. we usually have stockings for all the pets too and give the dog toys and bones and the cats toys and catnip, now theres wont be there, and another wonderful thing, my grandma cant come from ruskin this year, like 40 mins away b/c she is so sick, and usually when shes here she wears and oxygyn mask at night and now shes usuing it 24/7. i wanna go out back so bad with the cat but i just talked to mom who of course cant help b/c of her and dads drama so she told me not to go back out there til i talk to dad b/c i cant do anything for her and watching her is just gonna freak me out more and make me end up in the hospital with a migrane. im about to blow up his fucking work phone.
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| who wants to go? |
[05 Oct 2005|09:37pm] |
sun-oct16th-saosin, avenge 7 fold @ janus landing
tues-oce18th-boys night out, fall out boy, motion city soundtrack, starting line @ hard rock live
wed-oct19th - mxpx, rufio @ janus landing
sat-oct22nd - could see saosin at hobs instead...
fri-oct28th (my 21st b-day btw) - coheed, blood brothers, dredge @ janus landing
sat - nov5th - from autumn to ashes, boy sets fire @ hobs
sat - nov12th - thrice, underoath, the bled @hobs (i'll go by my damn self to this one if i have to)
tues - nov15th- mae @ state theatre
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| so i guess it wasnt a bat... |
[05 Oct 2005|08:24am] |
cuz this was under my back seat
and to all that have been calling me, im not mad at ne one or anything i am just dealing with so much bullshit right now that i just need to be away from everyone for a lil while.
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| today was full of ups and downs! |
[02 Mar 2005|10:00pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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::who - american woman:: |
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for some reason i kept waking up a lot this morn, finally i stayed up and got ready for school. math sucked much as always, but actually what we are doing right now is easier then what we just finished so thats good i guess.
then i went and got my hair cut, and i really hated it at first, im still getting used to it but i gave johanne a big tip b/c i was almost in tears and she could tell and i felt bad, its just weird having my hair in layers and so short, but at least i love the color lol. chrissy and some ppl at work said they like it, and josh fucking loves it to death so that made me feel a lot better when he tried to rape me when he saw me.
after work i saw josh for a little bit, we both got stuff in the mail, i got rainbow brite toys and he got video game stuff. well thats my day, here is a picture of my new hair and my new oh so wicked toys! <3
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| R.I.P Desiree! i'll miss you and i love you! |
[02 Feb 2005|09:59pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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music |
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::rise against - state of the union:: |
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So today was one of the hardest days i've faced in a long time, i was home just chilling on the computer, hear my aunt come by, then about 15 mins later theres someone knocking on the door, so i go hmm i wonder who would come here in the middle of the day when no ones usually here, and my aunt is like oh its for me, and then i hear her going into the garage where the dog is.
so i go downstairs and theres a vet van outside, so im like oh are they gonna give us new medicine for the dog? and my aunt just looks at me and says you mean you dont know whats going on today? no i didnt fucking know what was going on today, i knew dad was thinking about putting the fucking dog to sleep only b/c i over heard him saying that to aj 2 days ago, but he never said anything to me, i didnt know he had even called donna to get a hold of that vet that put her dog to sleep.
so the guy picks up my dog and is bringing her out to the van, and my aunt is like yea im gonna come in in a minuet, go back inside, so i was like wait they are gonna do it here? and so i go out to the van and theres a sink and a table, a mini fidge and a few cages in it, and my dog is on a table and this blonde lady is holding her while the man is filling up a huge needle, so i go in the van and am holding and petting the dog and she was shaking so much i just wanted to pick her up and run away with her. my aunt stayed in while they gave her the shot, but i couldnt do it, i was crying so much i just had to leave.
she came in and said that the dog looked really happy and stopped shaking, and kinda layed down, then put her head down and just fell asleep. i mean i know she was sick and had a kidney infection and was peeing everywhere and was itchy cuzza her alergies and she was old, she was 14, i've had her since i was 6, but still its so sad, and i didnt wanna come home tonight, its so weird like not having to check her food dish or have anyone to throw a ball too or give a treat to or be worried i need to get off the pute and go let her out, and know one is gonna bark at the door any more. ::sigh:: its so sad thinking about all this but i wanna get it out.
dad was saying that i shouldnt be mad about it, b/c she was in pain even though she didnt show it, she was even peeing in her own doggy bed and sleeping in it, and i guess dogs dont do that unless they are really sick. i dont wanna seem greedy or selfish for wishing she was alive when she was in all that pain, and im glad shes not hurting any more but i still am gonna be sad for a few days and miss her to death. any ways i gotta wake up early for school tomorrow. bye.
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| woot |
[06 Dec 2004|04:56pm] |
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mood |
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 geeky |
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music |
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::saves the day:: |
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yay the ups man came and brought me lots of pressis for my friends, and there was another hottopic box addressed to daddy, so i know some of what i got, teehee.
so the 27th is disney and the 30th is phantom of the opera if i havent said that already, its me josh dad and beth, dunno if aj is going or if he will do something with mom.
i have a job interview at progressive thur at 10:30 in the am, wish me luck!
but i am back off to school, then going over to joshywoshys later.
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| of course its what i didnt say but i knew the words to make you stay... |
[19 Nov 2004|10:30am] |
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mood |
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 worried |
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music |
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::tbs:: |
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so yesterday i got my hair done, then josh and alex came over and we went out to ybor to go to the show. it was a pretty good show, i think the sound people at masquerade need to get fired though. the first band was interesting, they themselves were kinda weird, b/c they were really old guys and dressed like loosers from the 80's, but damn could they solo on the guitar and on the drums. then underoath came out, and they kicked ass, and coheed could've kicked ass but the lead singers mic was on way too loud so it was killing our ears when he sang, and he was one of those ppl that let the audience sing more than he did, so that was kinda gay.
im still pretty tired, the boys are going to the killers show in four days too. i wanna go to the show w/ fftl, boys night out, and emery, but i'd prolly have to go by myself and i really dont wanna go out to the state theatre by my lonesome.
ne ways i dont think im doing anything today except for working, fun stuff. byes.
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| happy 1 yr to me and josh |
[01 Nov 2004|04:23pm] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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::no doubt - spiderwebs:: |
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well i guess i am not going to weight class tonight, i left my coach a message asking if i could wear sandles and to call me back b/c i cant get a shoe over my injured toe, and she hasnt called me....
josh and i are gonna chill out here tonight i guess, we are supposed to make dinner together and then exchange gifts, which means i gotta go get groceries. i bought two ppl x-mas/yule gifts already! yay.
but i will leave you with some pics, ( they are actually ppl this time. )
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| woot im 20! |
[28 Oct 2004|06:50am] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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music |
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::yellowcard - only one:: |
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this last week of 19 has been fun. jess and chrissy came by a few nights ago and we took some funny pics and jess gave me her pressis early. she got me pretty floating spider candles and this other black and white spider candle that i had one of already but its ok, never too many spiders in my room.
josh took me to shirleys yesterday to let me pick out some of my own stuff. i got this really pretty wood box w/ pentilces all over it, and a little goddess figurine. and i got cards from beth and my grandma which totaled to 50 bucks so yay gas money.
yesterday i had my second shot worthy migrane. josh went with mom and i to the hospital and we were there about an hour and a half, and i felt really bad b/c there is a normal waiting room and then theres a kid area and the nurse kicks out the kids so i can sit in there w/ the lights off, and one of the kids started crying (and all of this stuff was told to me by josh and mom, i had no idea of my surroundings at the time) and his dad told him to shut up that girl needs that room way more than you do. the poor kid. then they took me back to a dark room and i layed on a bed and they got me a blanket and i put myself under the blanket to get away from the noise and the guy was like um, how do i take her blood pressure. mom had to soothe me down, i kept almost hyperventalating. then when she came to give me my shot josh walks out of the room and shuts the door, and he said he could hear me yelling in the hallway! well i got my normall shot, which doesnt hurt until right when shes finishing injecting it, plus it hurt a bit more than last time b/c this lady did it higher up near my lower back rather than my buttcheek where all the fat is. then she says she wants to give me this other shot to make the first one work faster and take care of my nausea and make me sleep better. and she said it wont hurt as bad b/c its w/ an air gun. so she gives it to me and i screamed you liar that hurt worse than the first one.
so yea now im up at 6 in the morn b/c my back/butt are killing me. but it doesnt hurt nearly as bad as my head did. josh and mom pretty much had to carry me there. but im gonna start getting ready for the beach, i need to get a hold of chrissy, make sure shes up and see whats going on w/ our food today and make sure she doesnt need anything like a towel or whatever. byes.
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| give me some luv |
[22 Oct 2004|07:42pm] |
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 good |
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::thats the way we get by, the way we get high:: |
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Post a memory of me.
It can be anything you want.
Then post this to your journal.
See what people remember about you.
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| weird! |
[25 Sep 2004|04:23pm] |
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mood |
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 weird |
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music |
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::suicide machines - in the end:: |
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although im still wanting the mitsubishi lancer daddy made me go to the library and go through consumer report mags and look at all the four doors in there. so it is now open to a mitsubishi lancer still, a saturn ion, a toyota carolla, a nissan sentra, or a mazda 3. if anyone has any experience or knows a friend that had/has one of these cars stories/suggestions are welcome. as for gas mileage, the lancer was 18-22, the saturn was 22, the corolla was 28, the sentra was 24, and the mazda was 27. i will prolly test drive these other cars tomorrow or tuesday or maybe even today, i dunno, i want dad to be with me to compare the car prices and the warrenties and the insurance and the interest, and he is always busy. i am using my grandmas car for now cuz she is in boston till the 4th, so erica i dont need a ride from school monday, but thanks for planning on doing it.
well ne ways im really thirsty and kinda have a headache so im out.
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| back to school |
[25 Aug 2004|09:36am] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
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music |
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::saosin:: |
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i know i havent updated in forever, but im always w/ josh or at work, i did get to chill w/ erica shanks too.
friday is the finch show in orlando, im so excited!
i really cant think about what to talk about, ive got so many thoughts going through my head right now, i've got a lot of stuff to do b/f class.
well i guess im gonna go do it, i just wanted to update since it's been forever. i get to be w/ erica at school today yay!
oh, chrissy im sorry i missed ur calls last night, i forgot to put my ringer back on after work, but call me today sometime after 3 if u can k. byes.
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| i must remember this... |
[11 Aug 2004|12:17am] |
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oct 30 at hob orlando tbs, fall out boy, matchbook romance will be here. and its a saturday so josh will be able to go. yay!
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| i <3 erica |
[08 Aug 2004|03:52pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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::radiohead - there there:: |
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she left me the cutest myspace comment!
i fell asleep in moms bed till 10 when josh came in and woke me up saying bye cuz he was going to work. so i got ready for work b/c i decided i'd go in do what film was there then leave.
i had some green tea and grilled cheese w/ tomato soup. then i ran by jess's to get the money back that i lent her, then i get to work and josh is about to go on break, so i ask him to get me a french vanilla cappichino, b/c cappichino/tea for me is like saltine crackers to other people when sick. so he comes back w/ regular coffee, but this guy anthony said he'd drink it, sp josh went back out and he almost got a cup full of creamer lol. but its hard to find stuff you never buy i guess. but it was cute.
i have to bring his dad to the airport later, which sux cuz i need to go to best buy and we were gonna see a movie today, but we will see it tomorrow. we are gonna see the village, josh wanted to see whitecastle but i reminded him that we are supposed to see that w/ alex. then this weekend alien vs preditor comes out.
well i am gonna try to catch a nap or something till its time to go. byes.
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| alltel is gay |
[26 May 2004|09:38pm] |
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mood |
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 moody |
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music |
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::reggie - your boyfriend hates me:: |
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well not the service, but the people who work in that store in the food court, they fucked me over soo bad, thankfully i got everything fixed, but im still very pissed off at them.
did i meantion that josh is being a vegitarian till monday? i fed him some morning star buffalo wings and he decided to do that, and might do it longer than a week. we went to tias for lunch and he ordered all his normal food meatless, it was so funny because he was sounding like me and being all like make sure theres none in it at all, and i always do that b/c im intolerent for it now and i get sick if i eat it.
i got no hours this week, but then again it was a good thing b/c i have lots of homework. i keep going on hcc's web site to try to register for a fourth class, since people drop and stuff i keep looking to see if any of the ones i want/need are open, but of course they never are, that or they are at dale mabry.
ryan is going to be at work tomorrow, that is so cool, i miss ryan, josh says that tomorrow prolly wont suck as much with him there, aww how sweet.
so ne ways, me and josh are off friday so we are gonna stay home and watch the third lord of the rings (not my idea) and then eat some of my yummy tex mex pizza and play pool
i've been on a cooking spree this week, i made my own salsa on monday which everyone but me liked, too many onions for me, then yesterday i made tex mex pizza, and today i made jalepino rigatoni, my mouth is still burning a lil bit. but ne ways i just felt the need to update this thing, maybe post some pics in the mid of next month when i get the pics from my last shoot. byes.
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| yay my first day of sleeping in since last thursday |
[12 Mar 2004|10:59am] |
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mood |
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hungry |
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music |
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::girls just wanna have fun:: |
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well things have been going great latley, spending time with josh, purchased some dvds, went to a shoot and had so much fun, and then yesterday daddy took me out to disney and that was fun. i have to work at 4 today, boohoo. but i just wanted to update since its been a lil while, im gonna eat now, byes.
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| much progress today |
[30 Jan 2004|05:57pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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::john frizzell - my little box:: |
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well film class was ok, went to the weight room after for a bit. came home showered, went to the bank and started a checking account. i should get my debit card and my checks in the mail within three weeks. then i went to radience tanning salon and started an account and bought some lotion, so i just put a ton more money on my credit card and stuff.
i think im going to wait on getting my hair done till closer to summer, no point in doing it now then going to the beds which will fade my dye.
then me and erica went to sweet tomatoes for lunch, shes so cool to hang out and have conversations with.
im going to get josh from work at 9:30, and he told me to bring something to jog in. he finally wants to start running. im worried about him, him and his friends are going on a mission to do something tonight, he wont tell me yet what they are doing, but they better not get themselves in trouble.
well im going to take my bleach strips off my teeth and go draw or something, im in a chill mood, byes.
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