L to the E (spiderchick) wrote,
L to the E

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R.I.P Desiree! i'll miss you and i love you!

So today was one of the hardest days i've faced in a long time, i was home just chilling on the computer, hear my aunt come by, then about 15 mins later theres someone knocking on the door, so i go hmm i wonder who would come here in the middle of the day when no ones usually here, and my aunt is like oh its for me, and then i hear her going into the garage where the dog is.

so i go downstairs and theres a vet van outside, so im like oh are they gonna give us new medicine for the dog? and my aunt just looks at me and says you mean you dont know whats going on today? no i didnt fucking know what was going on today, i knew dad was thinking about putting the fucking dog to sleep only b/c i over heard him saying that to aj 2 days ago, but he never said anything to me, i didnt know he had even called donna to get a hold of that vet that put her dog to sleep.

so the guy picks up my dog and is bringing her out to the van, and my aunt is like yea im gonna come in in a minuet, go back inside, so i was like wait they are gonna do it here? and so i go out to the van and theres a sink and a table, a mini fidge and a few cages in it, and my dog is on a table and this blonde lady is holding her while the man is filling up a huge needle, so i go in the van and am holding and petting the dog and she was shaking so much i just wanted to pick her up and run away with her. my aunt stayed in while they gave her the shot, but i couldnt do it, i was crying so much i just had to leave.

she came in and said that the dog looked really happy and stopped shaking, and kinda layed down, then put her head down and just fell asleep. i mean i know she was sick and had a kidney infection and was peeing everywhere and was itchy cuzza her alergies and she was old, she was 14, i've had her since i was 6, but still its so sad, and i didnt wanna come home tonight, its so weird like not having to check her food dish or have anyone to throw a ball too or give a treat to or be worried i need to get off the pute and go let her out, and know one is gonna bark at the door any more. ::sigh:: its so sad thinking about all this but i wanna get it out.

dad was saying that i shouldnt be mad about it, b/c she was in pain even though she didnt show it, she was even peeing in her own doggy bed and sleeping in it, and i guess dogs dont do that unless they are really sick. i dont wanna seem greedy or selfish for wishing she was alive when she was in all that pain, and im glad shes not hurting any more but i still am gonna be sad for a few days and miss her to death. any ways i gotta wake up early for school tomorrow. bye.
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